Why Pockets?

This time of year, the assignment foisted upon parents, grandparents, and all manner of friends is to find—and usually buy—gifts for the little ones. In the Wyllie household, it’s a little different.

For Penelope and me, occasions like Chanukah and Christmas have about the same emotional and spiritual gravitas as President’s Day. Sure, we’ll nod to the tradition of the giving season—after all, it’s become a force of nature in the American cultural consciousness—but we’re really gearing up to celebrate the day wee Finn Gunn was born.

For us, Chrismukkah will forever be prelude to the big event on December 29th.

While I have no interest in ending naked consumerism or object-based happiness, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the name of this website: “What every baby needs.”

More accurately, I’ve been thinking about the stuff that no baby needs.

For me, the thing that tops the list is pockets—especially pockets that have velcro, buttons, snaps, and zippers. I don’t know about your baby, but my son does not yet carry a wallet, keys, or a mobile phone. He doesn’t need 5.11 tactical pants for all his “gear.”

More on the stuff no baby needs in a couple of paragraphs. Meanwhile, what does every baby need (aside from the obvious: food, shelter, love, learning, and peace)?

I won’t pretend to know what every baby needs, but I’ll speak for my own son at least until such time that he can speak for himself—which, by the way, could be any day now.

Finn Gunn needs to be intellectually stimulated. He needs to be inspired to stretch and reach and touch. He needs to be challenged and then rewarded for his effort. Consequently I love surrounding him with everyday household items as well as purpose-built educational toys that are brightly colored and encourage him to think, dream, and move.

One of his favorite toys is a set of three wooden vehicles—a car, a truck, and an airplane. Another favorite item defies description save for the fact that it’s plastic, colorful, and plays a half dozen pieces of classical music. Still another is an old TV remote control I super-glued shut with some nuts and bolts inside.

He also needs to be warm and protected from the elements. We’ve got a number of fantastic hand-made blankets from my mom and a few of our particularly “crafty” friends. We’ve also got several garments adorned with the colors and logos of my favorite sports teams. I won’t even attempt to defend my poor judgment in purchasing those except to say he looks adorable in them and I’ll forever treasure the pictures of him dressed the same as me on game day. He’ll probably try to destroy the evidence as soon as he figures out how.

So, what about those totally pointless children’s toys and products? This is by no means an exhaustive, authoritative, or comprehensive list. In fact, it’s woefully incomplete. It would be a much better list if you’d use the comments block below to add your own ideas about totally unnecessary garbage aimed at children. Here’s a start:

I’ll be back soon with another post—in the meantime, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Season’s Greetings, “…and to all a good night.”

In December 2008, Doug Wyllie became a first-time dad. A veteran of more than ten years in corporate communications and journalism, Doug was writing about streaming video before YouTube, digital music before Napster, and wireless technology since the original Palm Pilot debuted. Doug presently serves as the editor of PoliceOne, where he writes on a broad range of topics and trends that affect public safety professionals. Here, Doug writes about all sorts of poop.